Yes, It Is About Food Too
"An eating disorder is not about food."
I hear this a lot, and I get the message. I guess it is an attempt to make us seem less crazy, eh? Nevertheless, I avoid saying it myself. The reason? Because an eating disorder is about food. It is not only about food, obviously! Yet I believe saying "it's not about food" to someone suffering a condition where a lot of the mental symptoms are directly related to the state of undernourishment, and where 90% of their life and brain capacity revolves around food and eating is counterproductive and could discourage re-feeding.
Why?
Because it can keep people stuck for months, years, even decades, trying to find "the root issue" because "apparently it's not about food!". This prevents re-feeding, and it is only with re-feeding someone can work on any underlying issue. When you're deep into an eating disorder, you will not be fully responsive for therapy. You're not you when you're hungry.
Truth is, not everyone with an eating disorder has a deep, underlying issue. Some simply have a biological predisposition who gets triggered during a period of undernourishment. They may go through some normal, human challenges, or they may simply just start a diet. Your eating disorder is just as valid, even if you don't have a sob story.
(This is your sign to have a pastry)
I am one of those people who did have underlying issues that also required treatment. Yet thank God my very skilled psychologist said "food first"! We worked on re-feeding, and then later on we focused on the rest. Of course we spoke about any challenges that faced me in my recovery, and my feelings about food and body, but the predict was we did not need to solve everything in order for me to eat some goddamn food and gain some goddamn weight. You feel different by doing different.
Unfortunately, a lot of therapists lack awareness of the biological aspect of eating disorder and how it affects one's cognitive state, and will go on a journey to dig up every childhood trauma thinking this helps their client. As a coach, I hear this complaint all the time: "My past therapists just wanted to talk about my childhood!". Therapy may go something like this:
"Maybe you're bingeing to fill a void within" (Or maybe you're suffering reactive hunger as a result of undernourishment.)
"Maybe you're so rigid with food in an attempt to control your life" (Yes, absolutely! But undernourishment also causes more rigidity, thus full re-feeding and weight restoration will help reduce this.)
"Maybe you want to shrink your body because you want to disappear" (Absolutely! But we do know that body dysmorphia and fear of weight gain is strengthened by undernourishment, and many report seeing themselves more realistically after weight restoration.)
The problem is that the therapists seemingly lack of interest in re-feeding could translate to the recoverer, making the recoverer think re-feeding isn't really all that important because "it's not about food". It is not only about food. But it is about food, too. It is ok to acknowledge that.
With full recovery, which includes re-feeding (letting go and eating whatever you want - no restrictions!) and weight restoration into your body's natural set point weight range, you will start to think more clearly, thus any past trauma or underlying issue can be worked on. You will fully benefit from therapy, instead of sitting there planning your next meal.